Officially Official

That Saturday was blustery and the first colder rainy day of fall.  My trainer wanted to do a lesson on the spot where we had some problems with balking to see if we could overcome it.  For the last two weeks I have been doing groundwork like a boss.  Lots of yielding and can you be soft and no, you may not eat grass while we're walking.

Giving me pony side eye about this whole dressage business.

I was so anxious on Saturday though, that I almost cancelled.  I'm already nervous riding outside of an arena, so to then add in blustery, cold weather almost tipped me over the edge.  Let me just skip to the result, which was that between my ground work and our relationship getting better, he didn't even try anything besides sort of slowing down.  When I asked him to move on, he would ask "Are you SURE I can't go back to my stall?"  I said "Yes, I'm sure." and he sighed deeply and went back to work.  All of this was outside, in the wind and the rain and he continued this attitude when a horse got loose and galloped all around the farm getting all the other horses worked up. Let me say that again, he just toodled along while a loose horse galloped around the farm.  Yes, I'll take this one please.

So, I would like to formally introduce my new horse, Chance.  His fancy pants registered name is A Chance to Dream Big.  He's 10 years old, 16 hands and had a great start in life with his first mom.  She bought him as a 2 year old and then did 4-H, drill team, trail riding stuff with him.  She's only selling him because she's getting married and starting a family and doesn't have time for him.  He's a solid citizen with not much of a spook in him.

We've been slowly getting to know one another and I like him more every day. He can untie his own lead rope and the place I'm boarding (five minutes from my house!) only has one set of cross ties, so we're usually using a tie ring.  I've learned to do my quick tie knot and then make eight loops.  He works through the loops and by the time he's at the last one, I'm done anyway.  Ha!  Nice try, pony.  Nice try.

The other thing I'm learning about him is that he was always clean and fancy when I saw him.  Now that he's turned out in a pasture with other horses, he's a piglet.  It's so hard to be a horse momma when you're obsessed with clean horses.  I spend about forty minutes every day grooming him and then he goes right back out and rolls.  Sigh.  Boys.

Ten seconds before he rolled.  

Yoga Pose Musthavegrass

I put this one in for anyone who has arena envy.  This is my boarding facility's brand new 200X200 state of the art outdoor arena.  It's very fancy.  Of course, since completing it, it has rained like we're gearing up for Noah's ark so we haven't been able to use it as much as we'd like.  Still...it's swoon worthy.

Decisions, Decisions

What's interesting about this whole 'trial' business is how it goes heart to head to heart to head.  If I hadn't had such a long trial period, I would have bought the damn horse already.  But the longer the trial, the more I waffle because my head says "maybe you could find one with NO problems".  Then I laugh hysterically because...well, it's a horse.  And a living being.  And ain't we ALL got some problems, it's just a matter of finding someone who's baggage goes with ours.  At least that's what the Mister always tells me.  Course he also tells me "I loved you yesterday and I loved you today and I'll probably love you tomorrow."  Probably.  Thanks, husband.

Though I'm a TERRIBLE commenter (meaning I hardly ever do it), I've been reading horse blogs for years.  And I don't think I've read ONE SINGLE BLOG where they said "my horse is perfect and has been from day one and narry a problem in the last 15 years."  Maybe there's one out there, but it's pretty rare.

Instead, there is the bumpy transition of getting to know one another.  Of finding out if they leave the toilet seat up or down.  Can I sleep with that snoring?  Just like with people, this can take some time.  It may be a year before I know what's really lurking under the adorable face of my trial pony.

Anyways, for those of you who ARE decent commenters, I'd love to hear stories (or just put links back to your blogs!) of what you went through with your new horse as you got to know them.

A little Less Magic - A little More Dust

The beautiful thing about an actual trial period, is that it gives both you and your new partner a chance to settle in to each other.  The first few days were magical.  We were both on our best behavior and neither one was asking much of the other.  Much like the early days of dating.

"Do you want Thai food or steak?"

"Oh, either.  I'm just happy to spend time with you."

"Do you want to watch Harry Potter for the umpteenth billion time?"  (this, by the way, is me.  I don't know why but I've watched the first three HP movies a ridiculous amount)

"Oh, sure."

Fast forward to a few dates down the line....

"Do you want Thai food or steak?"

"Actually, I want Italian food.  In my pajamas.  Pizza.  I want pizza.  I don't need to shower do I?"

"Do you want to watch Harry Potter for the umpteenth billion time?"

"Uh...no."

So, the pony and I have been politely asking questions.  Until three days ago when he decided to bring out his inner Jersey Shore personality.

"Yo, yo.  There's food over there. I don't care that it's an empty grain pan OUTSIDE my turnout, I need to get there now.  Get outta my way lady!  Seriously, lady, get outta my way!"

As I had already taken his halter almost all the way off and had mistakenly thought that we were 'together', he was free to rear up, spin around and run to the corner where he could lovingly stare at the grain pan.

Then yesterday we were out for a ride.  I thought we should take a left.  He thought the direction of his stall sounded better.  There was some circling and backing and even a mini tantrum involving front feet leaving the ground for a moment.  Basically, the problem was that he was trying mansplain to me which direction we should go and I was trying to gently and kindly explain that I didn't need a man to give me directions.  Yeah, like that ever works.  So - now that we've realized that - I've stopped trying to treat him like Enzo and started to deal with the horse I have.  The stubborn "I want to be in charge" horse.  I've added "Yo, Vinnie.  Knock it off!" to my vocabulary.

Though this may seem like bad news, it's actually great.  I wanted to see what the real pony was like, not pony on his best behavior.  Now that I know what I'm dealing with, I can create better boundaries for him.  And though my long term goal is to get to a place of passive leadership with him, I need to create safety for both of us first and that may require more of a dominant attitude for a while.

Vet came out today and did his teeth (he had sharp points and mouth ulcers..poor kid) and so he's going to rest from that for a day or two.  He was also back sore, but that may be from being ridden in a frame without using his body properly.  He holds his ribcage *perfectly still*.  My acupuncture/chirporactor is coming out Monday to take a look.  Otherwise, he now has a super clean sheath (yeah for sedation!) and a clean set of hock x-rays.

I have a few more weeks and plan on putting him in some serious work to see how we gel.

Magical Unicorn Dust

There's nothing like the nerves of bringing a new horse home...even if it's just on trial.  Add to that a barn that is new to us and yesterday I was a bundle of anxiety.

Pony arrived in the midst of Armageddon.  The barn is replacing their old outdoor arena with a brand new, full size dressage arena.  Yeah!  But in the meantime, the scene looked like this (but worse, so much worse).

Please note:  semi truck coming down the road.  Crane on right side is smashing concrete to bits.  All three roller/bulldozer things going at once.  Total.  Chaos.

So - there's so much noise we're having to yell to talk to each other.  Pony steps off the trailer.  We have to walk past all of this to get to his paddock.  He looks hard with his ears pricked.  And then walks on.  The end.  Drama over.

Pony settled in perfectly with just a few laps around the paddock.  This morning was quiet as can be.  Walked past the mayhem again.  I wish I had a better picture of where the round pen is, but it's basically right behind that tree on the left hand side.  Pony wasn't worried at all and did walk/trot/canter without even looking at the machinery.  In fact, the horses in their turnouts were more interesting to him and only for a hot minute.

Basically, so far, this pony has been sprinkled in magical unicorn dust.  And trainer #1 came out and gave him the thumbs up.  Next up on our trial list is to ride him in the big field and take him on the busy trail.  The trail should be interesting since it's a paved trail with bikes, rollerbladers, strollers and pedestrians.  However, considering how he handled the bulldozers and cranes and semi trucks I have high hopes for how he handles the trails.  And of course, we'll continue to perfect our selfies.

Maybe, Baby

Practicing selfies.  An important skill for any horse that is my partner.

Rocking the english outfit for me and the Western get up for the mystery pony.

I don't want to jinx anything, but this boy has the perfect resume, a handsome face, passed his vet check and is arriving tomorrow for a 'make sure' trial.  Also, I adore his current owner and we both want the same things for the pony.  Lessons scheduled, stall procured and shockingly, I have managed to restrain myself from buying everything in sight since he's a new color AND a new size.

I'd love to hear (or better yet see pictures) from redheaded pony owners about what colors they like best so I can start window shopping.  Keep your fingers crossed that our love affair is real and that the next few days are magical.  Also curious on folks thoughts about x-ray vs. not x-ray.  Vet didn't see any reason to x-ray and he's 10 and has not been pushed hard, gamed or jumped.  Thanks for your thoughts!

Dating New Ponies

Looking for a new equine partner is a bit like speed dating.  Except you only get one or two dates before you get married.  What a strange way to make a commitment!

I have lists upon lists of questions to ask, trying to determine if a horse would be a good match for me.  Do they think before they react or do they react and think later?  If your horse was a cartoon character, who would they be?  If someone says Tasmanian Devil, I know we're not a good match.  What kind of home would your HORSE prefer?  I'm surprised at how many owners have been surprised and a bit stumped by this one.  But really, the horse's happiness is important.  I want my new partner to enjoy similar adventures to me.

Then there's the health list.  Colic?  Lameness?  Ever done a blood test or x-rays?

And let's talk about your past.  How long have you had this horse?  Why are you selling?  Has this horse ever bucked you off?  What did you hope to accomplish when you bought this horse?

It's all so personal and detailed.  And it all can fall apart when you meet the horse in person.

Candidate #1 - 16 hand Red Roan solid paint.  Cute as a bug with a long forelock that went almost to his nose.  Seriously, his face was so stinking cute I wanted to chew on it.  7 years old, shown in 4-H and some local breed shows in English and Western.  Quiet, had done some trails.  When I asked the owner what his worst trait was, she said it's that he didn't slow down well for Western.  Ooh!  Sounds like a good fit for a dressage makeover!  Any sickness or lameness?  Nope.  She said he threw a shoe, so he was currently in easyboots on the front because the farrier was out of town.  Not a problem to be ridden though.

In Person -  Still the cutest face and the longest forelock.  First thing I noticed was a bump on his back where the back of the saddle would go.  Owner was young girl and no adults were present.  She had no idea what the bump was, but horse was slightly reactive to it.  Second thing (and this is before horse left stall), he was wearing Easyboots that were two sizes too big.  He also sucked his tongue and had a hard time holding his head still.  Owner tacked up and lunged.  He was a gorgeous mover, but probably would have been more so with boots that fit.  Owner got on and did some walk, trot and canter.  There was lots of hand/rein/bit action to keep his head down.  I got on and threw the reins away.  Horses head went up and he was looking every which way.  I trotted for all of 1 minute and got off.  Thanks, but not thanks.  Without constant direction, he is not confident.  Poor girl kept insisting he was quiet (which he was) and that he wouldn't do anything (not here....but in a year when I let him express himself, I'll bet he's a different horse under all that neurosis), but I said 'he's lovely, but not for me."  Scratch that one.

Candidate #2 - 15.3 hand palomino paint.  Owned by a young girl.  Being sold as girl is in high school and has lost interest.  Has done a little bit of everything, including dressage.  However, horse has been sitting in field for 3 months.  We talked about confidence and she said he was great, though he tried to lay down with her daughter once.  Worst habit was just that he was so quiet.  However, later in the conversation she mentions that she really wishes he didn't do this one thing.  What one thing is that?  Well, he throws his head in the air and strikes out with a front leg and can get a little light in the front end.  He doesn't MEAN anything and he gets over it if you get after him.  Thanks, but no thanks.  I'm not throwing my leg over anything that has tantrums.  Period

Candidates 3, 4, 5, 6 - No.  Hell no.  How do you think this horse could do english?  You call this quiet?

Horse shopping is such an exciting adventure.  And one I'm ready to be done with.  And that my family is ready to be done with.  With no horse, I have turned my attention to the house and cleaning out and getting rid of stuff.  I"m like a tornado whirling through the house saying "Do you really NEED this?".  Hopefully, I'll have a new partner soon and we can get back to ignoring the house and barely remembering to do laundry and dishes.

The Wheel

In tarot decks there is a card called The Wheel of Fortune or sometimes just The Wheel.  It depicts the cycles of seasons, the changes of life.  In my life, one cycle has ended.  I know this leaves the door open for a new cycle, but right now I'm just letting things sink in and be what they are.

I don't want to relive the entire thing, so this may be sketchy on details but Enzo collapsed in his paddock.  The vet was called out and he was unable to walk.  His eyes were doing this wobbling kind of thing where they were constantly moving.  I know there's a fancy name for it, but frankly I'm too tired to look it up.  The vet used words such as 'vestibular' and 'neurologic'.  We gave him so anti inflammatories and discussed the situation, deciding what the next course was.

I'll skip over all the agonizing etc. and tell you that 24 hours later there was no change and on a bright, summer day in the shade of a tree and after enjoying a bellyfull of grass, Enzo crossed the rainbow bridge.

He was a teacher, a healer, a friend.  He didn't like being groomed and he hated cold water.  He liked slow trail rides and loved treats, though he was never allowed them because he was so pushy about them.

Enzo taught me to listen to the horse in a new way.  Enzo taught me that time is not always linear and that sometimes friendship is more important than being right.

I spent his final night with him at the barn, watching over him and making sure he had plenty of hay and water.  In the morning, I let him out into the big pasture (the one he couldn't go in because of his Cushing's) and he grazed (as best he could) with his girl friend.  A friend had brought out some acrylic paint so we could leave our handprints on him.  I covered my hand in pink and placed it near his heart.  He held perfectly still while it dried.  He wouldn't let anyone else put their hands on him after that, so he carried a single pink handprint over his heart.

I found this poem on the internet that pretty much sums it up.  Enzo - Licorice - Black Beauty - you will be missed.

If you bury him in this spot, the secret of which you must already have,
He will come to you when you call-
Come to you over the far, dim pastures of death,
And though you ride other, living horses through life, they shall not shy at him, nor resent his coming.
For he is yours and he belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent by his footfall,
Who hear no nicker pitched too fine for insensitive ears.
People who never really love a horse.
Smile at them then, for you shall know some thing that is hidden from them,
And which is well worth knowing.

The only place to bury a horse is in the heart of his master

Breaking One Thing Leads to Fixing Another

I can't remember the last time I posted.  It was probably back when I had a horse I could ride, but I'm too lazy to check.  So here's the quick version.

January - Enzo feels slightly off.  Give him a few weeks off.  No improvement.

February -Vet comes out and does basic lameness.  Yep, he's lame but it's slight.  Maybe he just pulled something in pasture.  Give the pony a few more weeks off and we'll go from there.

March - Block the right hind leg and find it's in the fetlock.  Even more fun, when the right hind is blocked, he comes up lame on both fronts.  x-rays for everyone!  Nothing on the x-rays.  Next stop, ultrasound!  Inconclusive on the ultrasound.

later that day in March - MRI is out of my budget since it starts at $3,000 and I've already spent almost that much on farm calls, x-rays and ultrasounds.  Vet suggests we inject hind fetlock and both fronts and see what happens.

later in March - Front feet look better but rear hind is no better.  Still slightly off.  Best guess without MRI is suspensory ligament in right hind fetlock.  Vet prescribes short course of anti inflammatories and then hand walking, starting at 15 minutes a day and working up to 50 minutes by end of July, at which time we will re-check lameness.  Shockwave therapy is also recommended, but is not in our current budget.  Also, had multiple vets disagree on effectiveness so we do 5-10 minutes of walking on concrete as an alternative.

April - start acupuncture treatments for back soreness and to help with healing.

May - up to 30 minutes of hand walking.  Adding on 5 minutes every two weeks.

So that's the bad news.  BUT here's the amazing thing.  For almost the last year, my horse has been barely able to be ridden.  I had pretty big anxiety about riding him.  Then I couldn't ride him even if I wanted to and was forced to walk, walk, walk.  I know I said it before, but I can't stress enough that walking with your horse is a goddamn miracle.  Not an instant miracle, but if you're in it for the long game and you want your horse to be more mellow, trust you more, have a better connection under saddle then walking may be right for you.  We haven't done fancy ground work these last six months, just walking.  We walk through the barn aisles, we walk around the property.  We have explored and stood around and done nothing together. We have been startled when a bird flew up from under the bridge we were crossing.  We have watched the other horses at the farm.  We have walked slow and fast.  We have walked side by side or with me in front or with me behind.

And last week, after Enzo not having been ridden since January I found myself at the barn throwing a bridle and a bareback pad on and hopping on.  We made a lap around the indoor arena, but it was so pretty out and I KNOW Enzo now.  We both wanted to get out in the sunshine.  And so we did.  And as I felt his muscles bunch and smooth out underneath me and after I took a few selfies to prove my bravery, I just tilted my head to the sun and smiled.  This is what horses are about for me.  This bond.  This friendship.  This trust.

Enzo has gone from shut down to spookier than snot to being happy and mellow and soft.  Notice the ears looking forward.  He's so happy!!

Yep,  chillin' in the wash rack learning to ground tie.  

As we head back to work later this summer, I'm looking forward to incorporating this relationship into our working relationship.  It's been such a great reminder that horses are a long game, not a short one.  Horse training from the ground up is slow, simple and kinda boring but damn if it doesn't work.  This break fixed us and I couldn't be happier.

Happy Holidays

Life has taken over and left me with little time to do blogging.  Plus, I'm at this moment in my horse journey where I'm like a recovering alcoholic, or someone who just lost a bunch of weight or a vegan.  I just don't know when to shut the hell up and I'm a total judgy judgerson.  I know we all have our own paths and mine has taken a different turn with my horse, which has turned out to be magical.  Seriously. Fucking. Magical.

Magical like we go on mini trail rides BY OURSELVES>

Magical like riding in a bareback pad and halter and leadrope.

Magical like I finally get the idea of "First you go with the horse.  Then the horse goes with you.  Then you go together."  I can't remember if it was Tom Dorrance or Bill Dorrance or some old cowboy that said this.

Magical in that  I can tell by my pony's nostrils if he's absorbing something.  I can tell you when he's going to lick and chew and when he's going to yawn before he does it.

Magical like when we had to evacuate the barn due to flooding, my horse looked to ME for direction, walking close and checking in by breathing on my hand.

Sorry for being light on detail, but there's no time to type...I need to go out and keep working my new magic.  Happy Holidays to you, your families and your ponies.  And thanks for keeping up on your blogs.  I'm a crap writer these days, but a faithful reader!!

No big deal.  Just your average chicken riding her anxious TB cross in a bareback pad and halter and leadrope.

Solo trail ride around the property.

Ground tying?  Why not?  Also, this was my first time clipping without supervision.  It's pretty awful, but I did make a fun 12 on his butt for the Seahawks football team.  Haha!

Enzo at the barn we stayed at while our barn was flooded.  Notice how relaxed he looks and how he's headed straight for me.  It was hard to get a picture of him because he wanted to come hang out with me.

Shift and Shift and Shift Again

I suck as a blogger these days.  I've got a lot going on in my personal life and I find I am having a hard time answering emails, much less keeping up on blogging.  But here's the updates:

I am still not advertising Enzo, but letting folks know about him in case he finds his perfect match.  So far, that has not happened which is okay.  I continue to work with him and love on him and take care of him.  He will ONLY go to a home that can provide the right ownership and environment, which may very well end up being staying with me.

We still like each other.  Lots.

I had a funny feeling about his laminitis episode.  Something just wasn't adding up.  He foundered in February 2013 and then again in June of 2015.  Neither time was he fat and out on pasture all day.  I've had bloodwork done twice, but decided to empty my wallet and do it again.  I must have been on to something, because his ACTH came back elevated.  Really elevated.  Normal levels in fall are somewhere between 19-52 and Enzo was 597 on the first test and 192 on the second (a fasting one) test.  We have a third test going to a separate lab just to be sure.

Elevations of ACTH levels are a sign of Cushing's disease, which I still need to research the shit out of it.  At this point, I know it's something in his system having to do with the pituitary gland.  Enzo has no other symptoms of Cushing's except for the strange laminitis episodes.  I am a firm believer in using a holistic approach, so though I may end up medicating him, I also want to address any underlying issues that may have contributed to his.

He currently is still in the dry lot and my vet and I will be discussing options next week.  I'm concerned because the dry lot has been great for the summer, but 'dry lot' in the PNW becomes 'mud lot' in the winter and that's a huge concern.  I love, love the barn where I'm at but they're really set up for horses that can go out on pasture all day.  I'm hoping that maybe we can work out something with a muzzle and part days on pasture, but we'll see.

In training news, Enzo continues to improve every day.  If you had told me a year ago that I would be working my horse at liberty and riding with no bridle and no saddle, I would have told you that you were crazy.  We're taking it slow and steady and building a partnership in a way that I have never done with a horse.  If you had told me that hand walking my horse every day for an hour and backing him up every day for fifteen minutes would change him into a different horse, I would have been skeptical to say the least.

But I'm learning that slow and steady truly is the answer to horse training.  Really slow and really steady and paying attention to every step.  Enzo is quieter, more willing, more forward and more interested in work.  I am also quieter, more willing, more forward and more interested in Enzo.

Which is not to say that we spend every day in quiet meditation without a saddle.  Nope, I got me a new Western saddle and I still dressage it too.  In fact, I'm starting to learn to relax and just have fun.  My inspiration is a 12 year old girl and her pony.  They don't spend a whole lot of time contemplating the difficulties of things, they just go.  Bareback, with a saddle, rope halter or bridle, whatever....they just go.

So....sorry for the scattered nature.  I am not the same person who started writing this blog and I'm not sure how to even broach the subject properly.  I have new confidence, new attitude and a whole new idea on how to work with horses.  I would also like to give a shout out to my mentor, Elsa Sinclair.  You can read her incredibly eloquent and thoughtful blog at https://equineclarity.wordpress.com/.  I'm almost overwhelmed at all the new ways of thinking and doing that are possible and I can't wait until I'm brave enough to trust Enzo and I to gallop off down the beach with no saddle and bridle like The Black Stallion.  Yes, I will wave my arms and yes I will war whoop.  And yes, I will also wear a helmet!

Middle Aged Tantrum

First, let me apologize for my lack of pony selfies and photos.  I currently don't have a case on my phone and am paranoid about using it at the barn!

Next, I'd like to share what happened during my ride today.  Enzo has been getting much more sensitive to the leg and we've been working on disengaging the hindquarters and using his hind end to stretch his gaits out.  All good, but there's a basic that he and I have still struggled with.

Whenever I take up ANY kind of contact he goes slower and slower and gets crabbier and crabbier, until finally we are at a dead standstill while he swishes his tail, pins his ears and threatens.  Two nights ago at my lesson, I had my trainer Elsa ride before me.  Then I got on and we did not have any problems at a..

So I go out today and we start out fine, though sluggish and then he pulls this crap.  And we get slower and slower.  Okay, people.  This is the part where I'm going to share with all of you the meltdown that I had.  I want to share this because I know there are other people with this problem.  There are other people who have anxiety (I'm so glad I have realized that this is not a confidence issue, it's an anxiety issue.  Totally different.) and there are other people who get stuck.

So, I'm sitting in the arena by myself on Enzo.  I have a light contact (no, really.  It's really light.  Pinkie promise, this is not a 'too much contact' or a 'too heavy hands' issue) and we've now come to a complete stop.  I'm tapping with legs.  I'm tapping with whip.  The most he can be bothered to do is to pin his ears and grump at me.  Which causes my heart to speed up, my breathing to go shallow and my body to tense up.

A zen meditation master would tell you to take deep belly breaths and let everything out of your body.  And though I have found this to be a great release of tension, it does not do much to create 'energy' for you horse.  Plus, I was frustrated and angry.  And wanted to throw something.

Instead, I opened my mouth like I was going to scream and let out a loud as I could silent scream.  I pushed that silent scream all the way out.  I threw my hands up in the air in double fists and shook them at the sky, then at Enzo's ears, then at his mane.  I stood up in my stirrups and flung my body from side to side like a little kid losing his shit.  And then I put my hands on his mane and went a little apeshit.  I didn't have a conscious thought except "I want to fucking MOVE!  NOW!!" and by whatever means possible.  I crouched forward like a jockey and flapped my elbows and wiggled my hips and my legs.  None of it was kicking or whipping or anything hard, it was....energy.  

I finally get it.  I finally felt it.  I FINALLY got my energy truly up without tension.  And miracle of all miracles, Enzo stepped directly into a canter.  From there we came down into a lovely energetic trot.  And changed directions.  And circled.  And took up contact.  And moved hindquarters.  It really made me realize how much tension I was holding and how secure of a rider I am when I let go of that.  So good!

Then we opened the gate and rode outside, where I kept that energy and asked him to trot a few steps.  He lightly stepped into it and politely stepped out of it when I asked.  Brilliant.  Effing Brilliant.

I can't wait to see if this revelation sticks, but I'm so excited to have been able to have a moment of bringing my life up and having my horse respond in kind.  So fun!

The Lazy Pony

Poor Enzo had someone come out and try him yesterday.  The only time she had available was at 5pm, which is the hottest time of the day and yesterday peaked out at 90 degrees.  Add in a black horse and he was not the happiest of campers.

Add to THAT that he has only been worked a few days a week by a friend of mine and has had barely any groundwork lately and he hasn't really cantered in five months and you get a hot mess.

He was honest and kind, but he was definitely behind the leg and making his rider work for it.  And since I wasn't cleared to get up on him and it was a friend of a friend, she just jumped on and rode.   Which is fine, but she didn't want to over convince Enzo without knowing his reactions.  Which I totally respect.

So, at the end of the ride she said she didn't think he was the right horse for her.  I asked why and she said she was looking for a horse that was more sensitive and willing.  Huh?  I told her to give me two weeks and come back on a day that wasn't a record breaking heat day to try him again.  Both trainers have commented repeatedly on how sensitive and willing Enzo is!

However, looking back without the emotions (what??  You don't love him??) I think she was trying to say that she likes her horses hot and spicy.  It's true that he doesn't shoot off like a rocket.  And even when he's at his lightest, he doesn't shoot off like a rocket.  He's a sensible dude.  He has energy (usually) but if you keep asking him without follow up, he will totally tune you out.  He's totally not hot or spicy, but he IS willing and sensitive.  When we connect again in a week or two, I will check in with her about that but my gut says she wants something with a bigger motor and a touchier gas pedal.

I have another person possibly coming out to try him who's interested in doing a half lease before purchasing.  As long as she takes lessons with a trainer and is trainer approved, that could work out just fine.  I wouldn't hold him for her, but I'm not in a huge rush to sell him anyways.

I'm finally getting back in the saddle tonight or tomorrow and am excited to actually ride again!

Summertime

Summertime is challenging because my child is home from school and I go back to full time parenting.  I will be doing the happy dance in two weeks when school starts back up!

Lots and lots of things have happened.  I haven't written in a long time not just because of time, but because I've been doing so much and things have been changing rapidly.  So, here's the highlights....

I picked the name Enzo.  He seems to like it and it makes me giggle when I say it.  Plus, he can have the nickname Z.

He foundered.  Ugh.  Luckily, I caught it super early and he's fine, with clean x-rays.  However, vet has said he must be in regular work and have limited grass.  Limiting his grass isn't too hard as they have a great dry-lot available, but it does mean he doesn't get to hang out with his buddies.

I've been riding five to six days a week up until two weeks ago when I had a stomach ache and was transported via ambulance for an emergency appendectomy.  Suddenly, I couldn't work my pony.  Lucky for me, I had a friend who was available and she's been riding him a few days a week until I'm cleared for riding again.

Ambulance Selfie!

However, that really made me step back and look at my situation.  First, it's important to note that I have done a TON of ground work and relationship work and my horse and I are a team now.  We are at an entirely different place in our relationship.  We're riding outside.  We're purposely doing scary things.  He ground ties.  It's been incredible.

Proof of outside riding!

BUT...I don't have a lifestyle that is conducive to five days a week of riding.  And the barn I'm at isn't a barn that has a program available that he could be in.  It's just not the right fit.  He would be perfect for what I WAS doing, which was riding in a program working my way towards dressage shows.  Throw in some trail rides and he'd be a happy boy.

So, I'm putting the word out to my pony people.  Currently, I am not advertising him on the big sites or on Facebook pages because I'd like him to go somewhere recommended.  I would also love for him to go somewhere where some form of natural horsemanship is practiced or at least somewhere where they don't ride with a flash noseband just because that's what everyone else is doing.  :)  His personality has really come out in the last few months and he's a sensitive, people pleasing kind of horse.  He deserves a rider who will honor that.

His best match is a confident rider who will give him regular exercise and love.  He could probably do half days on grass with a grazing muzzle as long as he's getting regular work.

Stats are 16 hands, 13 years old, 1/2TB, 1/4 QH and 1/4 Percheron.  Has been a lesson horse previously, but I don't think he loved doing that.  Loves trails and arena work and has a wonderful, easy trot.  $2,000.  Perfect home a must.  Currently, I don't have video because I'm just talking to friends and friends of friends.  If I end up 'marketing' him, I will get better pics and videos and all that.  He's boarded in Fall City right now, if anyone local is reading this.  :)

The Name Game

You know what?  I've always hated the name Licorice.  I let my previous trainer talk me into keeping it because she believed you don't change their names once they have them.  Having worked a LOT with rescue animals, I'm all about starting a new life with a new name.

Also, Licorice just doesn't roll off the tongue.  There aren't good nick names.  It feels trite.  His original owner was a young girl, so it's probably like my first dog who got the moniker "Holly Jolly Christmas".  At least it had a decent nickname with Holly!

So...I've decided to change Licorice's name.  I have a front runner that I'm trying out this week, but if anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them.  I love the big Italian names (Valerio!) but they were too fancy for Licorice.  His personality reminds me most of (get ready for corny here...) Black Beauty, but I can't name him that...because, no.  But he deserves a different name.  He's a kind hearted gentleman with a lot of try and a bit of a sensitive soul.

Anyone with experience with this, let me know how you let the rest of the world know (like your barn, friends etc.).

What name goes with this face??

We've completed a week of training with a new trainer (J) and had a lesson with the other trainer (E).  I'm getting such good stuff.  As we were walking around the property with Licorice on a gorgeous sunny day, I laughed and said "Are you ever surprised people pay you to do this?"

E smiled and said "I'm more of a relationship counselor than I am a riding instructor."

And she is.  She's expensive, but worth every penny.

My big take away for this week, that I got from both E and J separately, is about energy management.

E describes it this way:

You and your horse get to have a combined energy score of 10 at any given time.  You need to not go over 10 or under 10.  If it's a windy day or your horse is distracted, his energy may be at an 8.  So, you need to go in with an energy level of 2.  (note, this is not saying that you would be a lump, but that you would be very grounded and level with your energy and be pulling your energy down and not out).  Then, as your horse calms down, his energy may go down to 5 and you may need to bring your energy up to 5 to meet him.

On a hot day, when he's tired, your horse may only have a 3 so you may need to bring your energy up to a 6 to get him listening to you.  Sometimes, if he's really checked out, you may need your energy to be a 9 if he's only at a 1.  However, if you go up to 9, he's likely to switch from 1-5 pretty quickly, so you must adjust your energy.

For some reason, this totally clicked with me and we've been having major success with just staying calm, cool and focused.  I even (with the help of a friend) got him in the wash rack and got his tail washed without tying him.

What what?

I'm a terrible blogger right now.  But, can you blame me?  I've been dealing with this.

Hives.  All over his body.  Over and over and over again.

I couldn't get the hives to go away, so we decided to try a pasture on higher ground.  Licorice's other barns were on hills and his new pasture was pretty marsh-y, so we moved him up the hill.  This is one of his new pasture buddies.  This horse is a big dog and just wants love.

Rohan!

When that didn't work, we went to the full armor again.  I finally found a fly sheet that can also be a rain sheet.  Yeah!  Perfect for spring.  So, after spending my $150 on it, it's been only hot and sunny and too warm for this.  Sigh.  Of course.

 Full armor + new pasture mostly did the trick!  So then there was this!  A saddle!!!!  Hurrah!!!

So handsome.

Which then led to this!  RIDING!!!!

 We have just started a 30 day training program with a trainer that I really like.  I'm hoping to get us back on track and go from there.  If someone comes along and thinks Licorice is their perfect horse, I am open to that conversation, but I'm not going to actively market him.  Instead, I'll put some more training on him and on me and get us out.  This summer is going to be awesome.  So spoke, so mote it be.

Like Dogs? Like Kids?

Licorice STILL has hives.  We are working on different angles and I'm hoping we turn the corner soon.  He looks awful.  All lumps and bumps.

We've had some great groundwork sessions.  I realized something pretty critical about my abilities and that is that it's not that I lack confidence, it's that I have anxiety.  I knew I had anxiety, but I thought confidence was the missing ingredient.  However, confidence is something you can gain through exercises, trust and time.  Anxiety doesn't give a crap about those things, it's a totally different beast.  One I'm very familiar with working with, but until I recognized fully that it was anxiety driving my discomfort and not confidence, I kept trying to train it out of me.

I have pretty good feel and pretty good timing.  My releases happen at the right time and even when I'm talking to someone else, one 'eyeball' is always on my horse.  I correct when I need to, am reasonably soft (this is ALWAYS a work in progress) and when riding, have a good seat and soft hands.  Licorice is not dangerous to me nor am I dangerous to him.  He's not a hot spooky mess all the time and neither am I.  I'm not sure it's exactly fun a lot of the time, which leads me to my newest pondering.

One of the people I'm working with for Licorice's hives heard that I was still thinking of selling him.  She basically dressed me down for it, saying that horses bond to their owners and that if I was having a hard time with my child I wouldn't give them up, would I?  Well, she's right.  Quite frankly, if my daughter was a horse, I probably would have sold her already.  (note to my child when she's old enough to find this on the internet:  you may use this for approximately five years of counseling when you're in your early 20s.  Then, someday, you may have a child and you can apologize to me with extravagant gifts.)

So, where do horses fit in?  Let's take out the 'horses cost a lot of money' line, because kids do too.  Also, let's take combinations that are dangerous off the table.  And let's also leave out 'horses are a hobby'.  I understand this is true for some people, but my horse isn't just a hobby.  I do puzzles for a hobby.  Horses are something deeper for me, and it DOES involve another being.

Why are they different than the commitment to dogs?  I had a border collie who I loved dearly, but she had some big issues (rescue dog) that we worked around but if she was a horse would I have traded her in?  I'm REALLY thinking about this, not just off the cuff with the whole time/money/life is too short stuff.  What makes the difference?

Dogs.  Children.  Horses.  All are beings and I believe they all have souls.  They certainly all have personalities.  What would life with horses look like if we DIDN'T trade them in?  I board, so I only can afford one horse so it's not an option to keep one and then get another one to do some of the things I want to do.  And why is WHAT we want to do MORE important than the horse/person bond?  My dog was NOT a family dog, but I just worked around it.  My husband is not a horse person...I wouldn't trade him in.

So, any thoughts?  I really would love to have a thoughtful discussion about this!  I recognize there might be differing opinions, so if there are, let's be respectful to each other.  And be open to thinking about things differently.....I know I am.

I Don't Want To Jinx It

but Licorice's hives were better today.  Crossing my fingers that maybe we're turning a corner.  But trying not to get too excited, so no exclamation points or talking too much about it.  I will quietly whisper "He had less hives today. Yippee." and then go build a shrine to the No Hives Gods and do a No Hives Dance while drumming with a chicken bone.   What?  You would do the same if your horse had hives for over three weeks.

Lumpy and Bumpy

My poor horse is covered in hives from nose to tail.  I will try to get pictures today, but so far the hives just don't show up in pictures very well.

After trying steroids three times and having the hives return, I've decided to go a different route.  I'm currently working with an herbalist and doing a system detox for Licorice.  She warned me that it is very common for it to get worse before it gets better, so I'm only mildly freaking out.  Meaning I've only called her twice in the last two days.  Ha!  She thinks it will take another week or so to start turning the corner.

In the meantime, it's a constant battle to figure out the weather.  He needs to be wearing his full fly sheet and neck cover any time it's not raining, but this time of year it rains for an hour, then dry for three, then rain again, then dry.  The barn is almost 30 minutes from my house, so it's not really possible for me to go out there all the time.

While we're waiting for his skin to settle down, we've been doing lots of groundwork.  Licorice is finally getting the hang of lateral movement, though we're both pretty slow at it.  It's supposed to be gorgeous this week, so I'm going to mix our time up between doing groundwork and then me just hanging out in his pasture.  I'll bring a camping chair, a good book and just chill with my pony.

Curious if anyone has had a horse with allergies to bugs and what your experience was?  I know I could just put him on Benadryl, but I'm not a huge fan of covering up symptoms without getting to the root of why.  If this doesn't clear up in the next few weeks, I am going to look into allergy testing as I've heard there's a vet that does the skin testing for horses.  Interesting, but I'm sure it's not cheap!

Keeping Up To Date

I'm so sorry!  There's been so much good stuff and I have hardly written a word.  Let's see if I can be as un-wordy as possible and still catch you up.  I'm thinking a list.

1.  Licorice got his teeth done and while he was sedated, his sheath cleaned.  Vet said to try to keep him on half days on grass for spring, just in case.  Or put a grazing muzzle on him.  Lucky for us, another boarder left and Licorice got to move to his stall which is attached to a nice big dry lot!  So Licorice will have breakfast in the dry lot and go out in the afternoon with his girlfriend in the big pasture.

Poor sedated pony.  He found a scrap of hay that I was in the process of removing from his stall and almost fell over trying to get to it.  Silly boy.

2.  Another amazing lesson with E.  Licorice and continued to walk off our anxiety and have graduated to 'walking the trails'.  We have not graduated to calmly walking by the cow pasture, but my fire breathing dragon pony now at least will walk by them instead of stopping and then bolting.

Clearly, no cows were around while we took this picture.

3.  A few pictures from the interior of our new barn.

Not my tack!  But a heated tack room is a beautiful thing!!

What's better than a heated tack room?  A HEATED RESTROOM WITH HOT WATER!  Yes, I know.  I'm unreasonably excited.  I've been living in Porta Potty land for too long!

This is the wash rack.  I wish they wouldn't store the grain tubs there because the clutter makes me a little nervous.  When I'm ready to wash Licorice, I will move these out just to be safe.

4.  Licorice had a serious allergic reaction.  Vet thinks it might be a bug allergy.  There are lots of flies on this property since it is in the valley and gets a fair amount of standing water.  So Licorice got a steroid shot, a few days of steroids in his food and was prescribed a fancy fly sheet with neck cover.  My non horsey friends think he looks like a Knight's horse now.  The hardest part is that we are having spring days, which mean that the day can start out rainy (put him in a rain sheet) and then end up warm and sunny (needs the fly sheet).  I can't afford blanketing service and even if I could, that includes blankets in the morning and then in the evening, not a 'check in the middle of the day and swap out his entire outfit'.  

He had four of these and the hair on his neck is all weird and soft and thin.  Gross, huh?

 

5.  Another amazing lesson, where I had E ride Licorice.  She said he was lovely and that she thinks the tripping will lessen considerably once he learns to unlock his back.   Immediately after getting on, she said he tensed his back up and stopped moving his barrel.  Hmmmm...this makes sense why his back was so sore last year!  So, our focus is on getting his barrel moving by alternating legs.  First gently, then bigger and bigger.  It's sort of hilarious because you can tell that Licorice was a lesson horse and is used to spurs because I had to ride around thunking him pretty good.  He totally ignored me.  E, of course, got him going lovely right away, but at least he didn't kick up or crow hop.  We even trotted a tiny little bit, but with my hamstring injury I'm really only supposed to walk right now.

6.  I talked to my farrier and we pulled Licorice's back shoes.  He said if he's still sore in a few days, call him and he'll come out and throw shoes on him, but since I'm not doing much with Licorice he doesn't really need them.  Yeah for a smaller bill!!!  Finally!

7.  Licorice and I are starting to get it.  Really get it.  His manners are starting to come around and he even fell asleep while I was talking to someone.  Progress feels so good.