Happy Holidays

Life has taken over and left me with little time to do blogging.  Plus, I'm at this moment in my horse journey where I'm like a recovering alcoholic, or someone who just lost a bunch of weight or a vegan.  I just don't know when to shut the hell up and I'm a total judgy judgerson.  I know we all have our own paths and mine has taken a different turn with my horse, which has turned out to be magical.  Seriously. Fucking. Magical.

Magical like we go on mini trail rides BY OURSELVES>

Magical like riding in a bareback pad and halter and leadrope.

Magical like I finally get the idea of "First you go with the horse.  Then the horse goes with you.  Then you go together."  I can't remember if it was Tom Dorrance or Bill Dorrance or some old cowboy that said this.

Magical in that  I can tell by my pony's nostrils if he's absorbing something.  I can tell you when he's going to lick and chew and when he's going to yawn before he does it.

Magical like when we had to evacuate the barn due to flooding, my horse looked to ME for direction, walking close and checking in by breathing on my hand.

Sorry for being light on detail, but there's no time to type...I need to go out and keep working my new magic.  Happy Holidays to you, your families and your ponies.  And thanks for keeping up on your blogs.  I'm a crap writer these days, but a faithful reader!!

No big deal.  Just your average chicken riding her anxious TB cross in a bareback pad and halter and leadrope.

Solo trail ride around the property.

Ground tying?  Why not?  Also, this was my first time clipping without supervision.  It's pretty awful, but I did make a fun 12 on his butt for the Seahawks football team.  Haha!

Enzo at the barn we stayed at while our barn was flooded.  Notice how relaxed he looks and how he's headed straight for me.  It was hard to get a picture of him because he wanted to come hang out with me.

Shift and Shift and Shift Again

I suck as a blogger these days.  I've got a lot going on in my personal life and I find I am having a hard time answering emails, much less keeping up on blogging.  But here's the updates:

I am still not advertising Enzo, but letting folks know about him in case he finds his perfect match.  So far, that has not happened which is okay.  I continue to work with him and love on him and take care of him.  He will ONLY go to a home that can provide the right ownership and environment, which may very well end up being staying with me.

We still like each other.  Lots.

I had a funny feeling about his laminitis episode.  Something just wasn't adding up.  He foundered in February 2013 and then again in June of 2015.  Neither time was he fat and out on pasture all day.  I've had bloodwork done twice, but decided to empty my wallet and do it again.  I must have been on to something, because his ACTH came back elevated.  Really elevated.  Normal levels in fall are somewhere between 19-52 and Enzo was 597 on the first test and 192 on the second (a fasting one) test.  We have a third test going to a separate lab just to be sure.

Elevations of ACTH levels are a sign of Cushing's disease, which I still need to research the shit out of it.  At this point, I know it's something in his system having to do with the pituitary gland.  Enzo has no other symptoms of Cushing's except for the strange laminitis episodes.  I am a firm believer in using a holistic approach, so though I may end up medicating him, I also want to address any underlying issues that may have contributed to his.

He currently is still in the dry lot and my vet and I will be discussing options next week.  I'm concerned because the dry lot has been great for the summer, but 'dry lot' in the PNW becomes 'mud lot' in the winter and that's a huge concern.  I love, love the barn where I'm at but they're really set up for horses that can go out on pasture all day.  I'm hoping that maybe we can work out something with a muzzle and part days on pasture, but we'll see.

In training news, Enzo continues to improve every day.  If you had told me a year ago that I would be working my horse at liberty and riding with no bridle and no saddle, I would have told you that you were crazy.  We're taking it slow and steady and building a partnership in a way that I have never done with a horse.  If you had told me that hand walking my horse every day for an hour and backing him up every day for fifteen minutes would change him into a different horse, I would have been skeptical to say the least.

But I'm learning that slow and steady truly is the answer to horse training.  Really slow and really steady and paying attention to every step.  Enzo is quieter, more willing, more forward and more interested in work.  I am also quieter, more willing, more forward and more interested in Enzo.

Which is not to say that we spend every day in quiet meditation without a saddle.  Nope, I got me a new Western saddle and I still dressage it too.  In fact, I'm starting to learn to relax and just have fun.  My inspiration is a 12 year old girl and her pony.  They don't spend a whole lot of time contemplating the difficulties of things, they just go.  Bareback, with a saddle, rope halter or bridle, whatever....they just go.

So....sorry for the scattered nature.  I am not the same person who started writing this blog and I'm not sure how to even broach the subject properly.  I have new confidence, new attitude and a whole new idea on how to work with horses.  I would also like to give a shout out to my mentor, Elsa Sinclair.  You can read her incredibly eloquent and thoughtful blog at https://equineclarity.wordpress.com/.  I'm almost overwhelmed at all the new ways of thinking and doing that are possible and I can't wait until I'm brave enough to trust Enzo and I to gallop off down the beach with no saddle and bridle like The Black Stallion.  Yes, I will wave my arms and yes I will war whoop.  And yes, I will also wear a helmet!

Middle Aged Tantrum

First, let me apologize for my lack of pony selfies and photos.  I currently don't have a case on my phone and am paranoid about using it at the barn!

Next, I'd like to share what happened during my ride today.  Enzo has been getting much more sensitive to the leg and we've been working on disengaging the hindquarters and using his hind end to stretch his gaits out.  All good, but there's a basic that he and I have still struggled with.

Whenever I take up ANY kind of contact he goes slower and slower and gets crabbier and crabbier, until finally we are at a dead standstill while he swishes his tail, pins his ears and threatens.  Two nights ago at my lesson, I had my trainer Elsa ride before me.  Then I got on and we did not have any problems at a..

So I go out today and we start out fine, though sluggish and then he pulls this crap.  And we get slower and slower.  Okay, people.  This is the part where I'm going to share with all of you the meltdown that I had.  I want to share this because I know there are other people with this problem.  There are other people who have anxiety (I'm so glad I have realized that this is not a confidence issue, it's an anxiety issue.  Totally different.) and there are other people who get stuck.

So, I'm sitting in the arena by myself on Enzo.  I have a light contact (no, really.  It's really light.  Pinkie promise, this is not a 'too much contact' or a 'too heavy hands' issue) and we've now come to a complete stop.  I'm tapping with legs.  I'm tapping with whip.  The most he can be bothered to do is to pin his ears and grump at me.  Which causes my heart to speed up, my breathing to go shallow and my body to tense up.

A zen meditation master would tell you to take deep belly breaths and let everything out of your body.  And though I have found this to be a great release of tension, it does not do much to create 'energy' for you horse.  Plus, I was frustrated and angry.  And wanted to throw something.

Instead, I opened my mouth like I was going to scream and let out a loud as I could silent scream.  I pushed that silent scream all the way out.  I threw my hands up in the air in double fists and shook them at the sky, then at Enzo's ears, then at his mane.  I stood up in my stirrups and flung my body from side to side like a little kid losing his shit.  And then I put my hands on his mane and went a little apeshit.  I didn't have a conscious thought except "I want to fucking MOVE!  NOW!!" and by whatever means possible.  I crouched forward like a jockey and flapped my elbows and wiggled my hips and my legs.  None of it was kicking or whipping or anything hard, it was....energy.  

I finally get it.  I finally felt it.  I FINALLY got my energy truly up without tension.  And miracle of all miracles, Enzo stepped directly into a canter.  From there we came down into a lovely energetic trot.  And changed directions.  And circled.  And took up contact.  And moved hindquarters.  It really made me realize how much tension I was holding and how secure of a rider I am when I let go of that.  So good!

Then we opened the gate and rode outside, where I kept that energy and asked him to trot a few steps.  He lightly stepped into it and politely stepped out of it when I asked.  Brilliant.  Effing Brilliant.

I can't wait to see if this revelation sticks, but I'm so excited to have been able to have a moment of bringing my life up and having my horse respond in kind.  So fun!

The Lazy Pony

Poor Enzo had someone come out and try him yesterday.  The only time she had available was at 5pm, which is the hottest time of the day and yesterday peaked out at 90 degrees.  Add in a black horse and he was not the happiest of campers.

Add to THAT that he has only been worked a few days a week by a friend of mine and has had barely any groundwork lately and he hasn't really cantered in five months and you get a hot mess.

He was honest and kind, but he was definitely behind the leg and making his rider work for it.  And since I wasn't cleared to get up on him and it was a friend of a friend, she just jumped on and rode.   Which is fine, but she didn't want to over convince Enzo without knowing his reactions.  Which I totally respect.

So, at the end of the ride she said she didn't think he was the right horse for her.  I asked why and she said she was looking for a horse that was more sensitive and willing.  Huh?  I told her to give me two weeks and come back on a day that wasn't a record breaking heat day to try him again.  Both trainers have commented repeatedly on how sensitive and willing Enzo is!

However, looking back without the emotions (what??  You don't love him??) I think she was trying to say that she likes her horses hot and spicy.  It's true that he doesn't shoot off like a rocket.  And even when he's at his lightest, he doesn't shoot off like a rocket.  He's a sensible dude.  He has energy (usually) but if you keep asking him without follow up, he will totally tune you out.  He's totally not hot or spicy, but he IS willing and sensitive.  When we connect again in a week or two, I will check in with her about that but my gut says she wants something with a bigger motor and a touchier gas pedal.

I have another person possibly coming out to try him who's interested in doing a half lease before purchasing.  As long as she takes lessons with a trainer and is trainer approved, that could work out just fine.  I wouldn't hold him for her, but I'm not in a huge rush to sell him anyways.

I'm finally getting back in the saddle tonight or tomorrow and am excited to actually ride again!

Summertime

Summertime is challenging because my child is home from school and I go back to full time parenting.  I will be doing the happy dance in two weeks when school starts back up!

Lots and lots of things have happened.  I haven't written in a long time not just because of time, but because I've been doing so much and things have been changing rapidly.  So, here's the highlights....

I picked the name Enzo.  He seems to like it and it makes me giggle when I say it.  Plus, he can have the nickname Z.

He foundered.  Ugh.  Luckily, I caught it super early and he's fine, with clean x-rays.  However, vet has said he must be in regular work and have limited grass.  Limiting his grass isn't too hard as they have a great dry-lot available, but it does mean he doesn't get to hang out with his buddies.

I've been riding five to six days a week up until two weeks ago when I had a stomach ache and was transported via ambulance for an emergency appendectomy.  Suddenly, I couldn't work my pony.  Lucky for me, I had a friend who was available and she's been riding him a few days a week until I'm cleared for riding again.

Ambulance Selfie!

However, that really made me step back and look at my situation.  First, it's important to note that I have done a TON of ground work and relationship work and my horse and I are a team now.  We are at an entirely different place in our relationship.  We're riding outside.  We're purposely doing scary things.  He ground ties.  It's been incredible.

Proof of outside riding!

BUT...I don't have a lifestyle that is conducive to five days a week of riding.  And the barn I'm at isn't a barn that has a program available that he could be in.  It's just not the right fit.  He would be perfect for what I WAS doing, which was riding in a program working my way towards dressage shows.  Throw in some trail rides and he'd be a happy boy.

So, I'm putting the word out to my pony people.  Currently, I am not advertising him on the big sites or on Facebook pages because I'd like him to go somewhere recommended.  I would also love for him to go somewhere where some form of natural horsemanship is practiced or at least somewhere where they don't ride with a flash noseband just because that's what everyone else is doing.  :)  His personality has really come out in the last few months and he's a sensitive, people pleasing kind of horse.  He deserves a rider who will honor that.

His best match is a confident rider who will give him regular exercise and love.  He could probably do half days on grass with a grazing muzzle as long as he's getting regular work.

Stats are 16 hands, 13 years old, 1/2TB, 1/4 QH and 1/4 Percheron.  Has been a lesson horse previously, but I don't think he loved doing that.  Loves trails and arena work and has a wonderful, easy trot.  $2,000.  Perfect home a must.  Currently, I don't have video because I'm just talking to friends and friends of friends.  If I end up 'marketing' him, I will get better pics and videos and all that.  He's boarded in Fall City right now, if anyone local is reading this.  :)

The Name Game

You know what?  I've always hated the name Licorice.  I let my previous trainer talk me into keeping it because she believed you don't change their names once they have them.  Having worked a LOT with rescue animals, I'm all about starting a new life with a new name.

Also, Licorice just doesn't roll off the tongue.  There aren't good nick names.  It feels trite.  His original owner was a young girl, so it's probably like my first dog who got the moniker "Holly Jolly Christmas".  At least it had a decent nickname with Holly!

So...I've decided to change Licorice's name.  I have a front runner that I'm trying out this week, but if anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them.  I love the big Italian names (Valerio!) but they were too fancy for Licorice.  His personality reminds me most of (get ready for corny here...) Black Beauty, but I can't name him that...because, no.  But he deserves a different name.  He's a kind hearted gentleman with a lot of try and a bit of a sensitive soul.

Anyone with experience with this, let me know how you let the rest of the world know (like your barn, friends etc.).

What name goes with this face??

We've completed a week of training with a new trainer (J) and had a lesson with the other trainer (E).  I'm getting such good stuff.  As we were walking around the property with Licorice on a gorgeous sunny day, I laughed and said "Are you ever surprised people pay you to do this?"

E smiled and said "I'm more of a relationship counselor than I am a riding instructor."

And she is.  She's expensive, but worth every penny.

My big take away for this week, that I got from both E and J separately, is about energy management.

E describes it this way:

You and your horse get to have a combined energy score of 10 at any given time.  You need to not go over 10 or under 10.  If it's a windy day or your horse is distracted, his energy may be at an 8.  So, you need to go in with an energy level of 2.  (note, this is not saying that you would be a lump, but that you would be very grounded and level with your energy and be pulling your energy down and not out).  Then, as your horse calms down, his energy may go down to 5 and you may need to bring your energy up to 5 to meet him.

On a hot day, when he's tired, your horse may only have a 3 so you may need to bring your energy up to a 6 to get him listening to you.  Sometimes, if he's really checked out, you may need your energy to be a 9 if he's only at a 1.  However, if you go up to 9, he's likely to switch from 1-5 pretty quickly, so you must adjust your energy.

For some reason, this totally clicked with me and we've been having major success with just staying calm, cool and focused.  I even (with the help of a friend) got him in the wash rack and got his tail washed without tying him.

What what?

I'm a terrible blogger right now.  But, can you blame me?  I've been dealing with this.

Hives.  All over his body.  Over and over and over again.

I couldn't get the hives to go away, so we decided to try a pasture on higher ground.  Licorice's other barns were on hills and his new pasture was pretty marsh-y, so we moved him up the hill.  This is one of his new pasture buddies.  This horse is a big dog and just wants love.

Rohan!

When that didn't work, we went to the full armor again.  I finally found a fly sheet that can also be a rain sheet.  Yeah!  Perfect for spring.  So, after spending my $150 on it, it's been only hot and sunny and too warm for this.  Sigh.  Of course.

 Full armor + new pasture mostly did the trick!  So then there was this!  A saddle!!!!  Hurrah!!!

So handsome.

Which then led to this!  RIDING!!!!

 We have just started a 30 day training program with a trainer that I really like.  I'm hoping to get us back on track and go from there.  If someone comes along and thinks Licorice is their perfect horse, I am open to that conversation, but I'm not going to actively market him.  Instead, I'll put some more training on him and on me and get us out.  This summer is going to be awesome.  So spoke, so mote it be.