I went into my lesson determined to try something new. After reading all your lovely comments and not having seen the pony in two weeks, I was hoping we'd be starting fresh. So, here's how that went.
I walked into the barn and found Tess in her stall. She didn't really look at me. I haltered her and led her to the cross ties. We hadn't taken two steps before she swung her head into me, her mouth tight and her eyes hard. I backed her up, fast. She was still tense and seemed angry. She was filthy, not having been groomed for two weeks. She was cranky, swishing her tail, pinning her ears and swinging her head into me constantly. I took her off the cross ties and backed her up when she got aggressive. She would lick and chew, but her eye stayed hard and her mouth was a tense, unhappy line. I thought maybe she needed to stretch out and move, so I put her in the arena and asked her to move out. She sauntered around a bit, cantering and trotting and occasionally spooking but it wasn't an excess energy thing. She got tired of moving and looked to me, licking and chewing. She followed me around the arena and I decided it was time to tack up. She was still unhappy looking.
I got her tacked up while she fussed and grouched, her body tense but not with energy. I wish I could describe it better. It was that she was hard all over. Her eyes, her mouth, her tail. Everything was stiff and resistant. I put her on the lunge and she went quietly walk, trot, canter without bucking, spooking or getting angry so it was time to get on.
Here's where I am going to give myself some serious kudos. My horse had not been worked in two weeks and I got on. First. With nobody in the arena with me. It took a few circles of the mounting block, but she settled down and stood and I got on. And then I walked her around on a loose rein. She had a few little spooks, but was good for the most part. I focused on feeling her back legs hit the ground (and totally had to cheat to look in the mirror the first few times) and seeing if I could get her to walk freely around the arena. Now, for you Western riders and those of you with calm horses and no confidence issues, the long rein might be a given. But as recently as two weeks ago, I was afraid to give her a long rein. I would get on and immediately want contact and since my fear ran from my head all the way down my arms, it was more of a death grip than contact. So riding on a loose rein for ten minutes AT THE BEGINNING of my lesson was the first step towards changing my relationship with my horse.
I felt it was going well enough that I should ask for trot. I asked, she hunched up, swished her tail, pinned her ears and got ready to buck. I shifted the saddle back and forth suddenly. She stopped. I asked again. She hunched up again, I shifted the saddle back and forth, hard. She stopped. I still wasn't getting trot. I asked her to walk. She swished her tail and pinned her ears. I sighed. A big, giant sigh of defeat. I slumped my shoulders, let the reins go and just sat there thinking 'What the hell am I doing?'.
Laura came out and I told her that I just couldn't gear myself up for a battle. That I knew I was causing the problem and that we needed to find a different way to do this because the idea of 'getting it through it' wasn't working. I asked if she would get on Tess and ask her to trot so I could watch how she did it and see Tess' reaction. So Laura gamely hopped on. At the walk, the pony was resistant and sucked back. Laura spent a good ten minutes correcting the walk. No, you can't be crabby when I put leg on. No, you can't flip your neck away from the contact. No, you can't push your shoulders out. No, you can't spook to get out of this. Then she asked for trot and got a soft, forward transition. Such was the rest of the ride, besides two nasty bucks when she really got after her about cantering. But Laura said her hips were out and that it was probably uncomfortable for her to canter in that direction. She's going to give her an adjustment and take care of it.
So then I got on. Our game plan was to have me make sure I had obedience AT THE WALK before going to the trot. And to make sure that when she was walking forwarding into the contact that I kept my hands SOFT and STILL. And....it worked. We had no bucking. I kept my ride short so we could taste real success together, but we walk, trotted and cantered both directions and did lots of transitions and change of directions. Laura showed me how to put all my weight in the stirrup irons when I asked her to trot, so that if she did buck (she's a hind end bucker) it would just put my weight in my irons. I didn't end up needing that.
After the ride, the pony's eye was soft and her mouth relaxed. She stood quietly while I brushed her and even let me hose off her green legs with minimal dancing. I'm looking forward to see if we can get the same ride tomorrow by concentrating on getting obedience at the walk first. I sure hope so!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Hand Holding
I'm a needy horse owner right now. Somewhere in the last ten years of being away from horses, I mis-placed my ability to try things. I'm afraid of looking stupid. I'm afraid of screwing up my horse. I'm afraid of being wrong. I'm afraid of failing. Yes, we all know that I'm a master of being afraid.
But this has been bothering me lately. Because I'm paying a trainer a decent amount of money every week to help me through this. To tell me what steps to take to make this better. But I'm starting to think that maybe part of my problem is that I want my hand held. Every ride. Every grooming session. Every flicker of my horse's ear. I want to know what the right thing to do if she pins her ears and for every answer I have a "Yeah but what if..." scenario.
Let's take biting for example. Tessa will swing her head and try to bite while you saddle her or if you're grooming her girth or her chest.
Answer #1 - let her head connect with your elbow, finger etc so she punishes herself.
My Response- She's in crossties and can't actually reach me. Also, she will just bite my elbow, finger, fist etc.
Answer #2- Back her up and get her feet moving.
My Response- This works but then I can't put her in the cross ties. And I want a horse that I can put in the cross ties. Also, this doesn't work if I'm in the wash stall. There is no where to back up.
Answer #3- Hard smack on the neck.
My Response- She will throw her head up and away when I do this. And then come back for more
Answer #4- If she comes back for more, you haven't disciplined hard enough.
My Response- But I can't hit her any harder and if I (theoretically) booted her like I was a horse, I wouldn't want her in the cross ties.
Just so you know, this was NOT an actual conversation with my trainer. This is just an example of how no matter what training advice I get (and putting it out on the internet, I've gotten LOTS) I have a "yeah but..." to go with it. Because what it comes down to is that I want someone with me EVERY TIME I interact with my horse to make sure I'm doing it JUST RIGHT. That way I won't embarrass myself or ruin my horse or be one of those people everyone talks about how they're ruining their horse with their stupidity, yet somehow nobody ever SAYS that to those people.
I don't have an answer, this is just something that I'm mulling. I've been reading some pretty great blogs about lightness and training and different ways of doing things. My lesson is tomorrow and my trainer is pretty traditional. Not harsh or close minded or anything, just more of a traditional trainer. And some of the things I want to try aren't traditional, but I have a gut feeling that I need to try them. They may be spectacular failures, but I think I'm realizing that I need to be willing to have a spectacular fail to prove to the pony that this between her and me. And that *I* will hold her hand (hoof?) because I'm in charge. A little bit like finally realizing that you don't need to ask your mom for child rearing advice at some point. It's okay to do what you feel is right for your children without living by consensus.
Sometimes I feel like I need to move barns to find a community that I connect with differently. Everyone at my barn is super nice and I'm REALLY enjoying riding with my trainer, but....but.....I need to find MY voice and MY stride and I don't know what that looks like yet. Ahhh....rambling thoughts. The big update after a two week break comes tomorrow! See you then!
But this has been bothering me lately. Because I'm paying a trainer a decent amount of money every week to help me through this. To tell me what steps to take to make this better. But I'm starting to think that maybe part of my problem is that I want my hand held. Every ride. Every grooming session. Every flicker of my horse's ear. I want to know what the right thing to do if she pins her ears and for every answer I have a "Yeah but what if..." scenario.
Let's take biting for example. Tessa will swing her head and try to bite while you saddle her or if you're grooming her girth or her chest.
Answer #1 - let her head connect with your elbow, finger etc so she punishes herself.
My Response- She's in crossties and can't actually reach me. Also, she will just bite my elbow, finger, fist etc.
Answer #2- Back her up and get her feet moving.
My Response- This works but then I can't put her in the cross ties. And I want a horse that I can put in the cross ties. Also, this doesn't work if I'm in the wash stall. There is no where to back up.
Answer #3- Hard smack on the neck.
My Response- She will throw her head up and away when I do this. And then come back for more
Answer #4- If she comes back for more, you haven't disciplined hard enough.
My Response- But I can't hit her any harder and if I (theoretically) booted her like I was a horse, I wouldn't want her in the cross ties.
Just so you know, this was NOT an actual conversation with my trainer. This is just an example of how no matter what training advice I get (and putting it out on the internet, I've gotten LOTS) I have a "yeah but..." to go with it. Because what it comes down to is that I want someone with me EVERY TIME I interact with my horse to make sure I'm doing it JUST RIGHT. That way I won't embarrass myself or ruin my horse or be one of those people everyone talks about how they're ruining their horse with their stupidity, yet somehow nobody ever SAYS that to those people.
I don't have an answer, this is just something that I'm mulling. I've been reading some pretty great blogs about lightness and training and different ways of doing things. My lesson is tomorrow and my trainer is pretty traditional. Not harsh or close minded or anything, just more of a traditional trainer. And some of the things I want to try aren't traditional, but I have a gut feeling that I need to try them. They may be spectacular failures, but I think I'm realizing that I need to be willing to have a spectacular fail to prove to the pony that this between her and me. And that *I* will hold her hand (hoof?) because I'm in charge. A little bit like finally realizing that you don't need to ask your mom for child rearing advice at some point. It's okay to do what you feel is right for your children without living by consensus.
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| Can I be in charge instead? |
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
You Must Read This
This is my favorite New Year's post ever. After reading this (CAKE!!) you must go check out pictures of the adorableness that is Murphy. Totally worth wasting a work morning on.
http://theliteraryhorse.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/rebel-with-a-clause-the-dreaded-new-years-resolution-list/
http://theliteraryhorse.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/rebel-with-a-clause-the-dreaded-new-years-resolution-list/
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
I am stuck in the waiting part. The roads are mostly clear, the weather is warming up. The horses at the barn were still on limited turn out as of yesterday because the parking lot is still full of ice. And I am stuck at home, catching up on a week's worth of work from having those darn snow days. By the way, a week inside with the stomach flu and a rowdy five year old makes you REALLY miss the quiet of the barn! I'm ready for some pony time. So, to tide us all over, here's a picture of the Princess in her winter fuzzies with her purple pad. It's this cute face that keeps me from sending her down the road when she's a crabby, awful bitch. This makes me think I should take a very cute photo of myself to give to my husband for exactly the same reason....
Sunday, January 22, 2012
These Are A Few of My Favorite Things....er...Blogs
Oooooooh I got an award! Thanks to Sand at http://firsthorseowner.blogspot.com/ for the award!! If you haven't checked out her blog before, you definitely should. She writes great, detailed posts about her horse (who is adorable) and their journey. And she just got a trailer so I'm sure this spring we'll be seeing some awesome traveling photos!!
Liebster means “dearest” in German, and the award is intended to help up-and-coming blogs get the attention they deserve. Here are the rules:
1. Copy and paste the award on our blog.
2. Link back to the blogger who gave you the award
3. Pick your five favorite blogs with less than 200 followers, and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they have received the award.
4. Hope that the five blogs chosen will keep spreading the love and pass it on to five more blogs!
I like lists and following rules. It's too bad there aren't more rules about what to blog about. A giant blog list that you just follow items 1-50 and that's your topic. Creativity? What creativity? Imma list maker!! And actually, it's much easier for some of us to get creative if we have some limitations set up. Otherwise we end up WAY too avante garde and our creativity resembles bad performance art involving toilets. But enough about art and toilets, let's give out some Leibster awards!!!
http://thoroughbredadventure.blogspot.com/
The trials and tribulations of owning a young, thoroughbred. TBA's posts are honest and funny and often full of great photos.
Muddy K is an amazing writer. Prepare to cry and to laugh and to be thoroughly moved by her stories of her horses and her connections with them.
New blog by someone with a new horse! How could this not be awesome? I can't wait to watch these two progress from groundwork to riding to dressage!
Women and horses. Horses and women. This blog is for all of us re-riders out there or first time riders who do not have rubber bones and nerves of steel.
A great training blog chronicling the adventure of Oliver and his owner, Steph. Well written with lots of information that you can apply to your own riding!
There were so many others that I wanted to link to!! My blog list is full of great blogs and I want to give every single one of them an award!! So if you're not on my list, it doesn't mean you're not in my top five, I was just trying to follow the rules......
And on the pony front, nothing yet. Barn has power today, but sent an email saying the parking lot was an ice rink. I'm a bad ice driver and not much of an ice skater either, so I think I will give it another day to melt.
And on the pony front, nothing yet. Barn has power today, but sent an email saying the parking lot was an ice rink. I'm a bad ice driver and not much of an ice skater either, so I think I will give it another day to melt.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
The Week of No Pony and Too Much Thinking
We've had off and on snow this week, with another round headed our way. This has led to school closures, which means I haven't made it to the barn. My five year old does not have the horse bug and it's never a good time with her out at the barn.
It's been a hard week, mentally. I've spent a lot of time worrying, thinking, overthinking and chewing on the problem of Tessa's lack of forward and her attitude about it. I KNOW that it's me, since every other trainer can get on her and after one half hearted attempt at a buck, she goes forward the rest of the time. Their solution is that I need to get after her hard enough so that she gets the message. The dog trainer in me knows this (it's never good to pick at your dog, just correct them hard enough to only have to do it once) and yet it's not working with Tess. I correct harder, she bucks harder.
So here are some of my new theories and thoughts.
1. I am clenching with my legs when I ask her for forward and especially when I get after her. Knowing she's going to put in a big buck makes it challenging for me to relax.
2. I am pulling back on her mouth when I'm asking for forward or I am dropping the contact altogether so I can grab her mane. Again, knowing she's going to throw her head in the air and then follow it up with a giant buck hasn't really given me much confidence in keeping a light, steady contact.
3. At this point, what I am doing is not working. If I'm having to get after her more and more and her bucks are getting bigger and bigger, whatever I'm doing (correcting her, clenching, pulling back) is not effective.
I got the stomach flu today (ugh) and am writing this from bed. It's possible I'm a bit delirious from my fever, but mostly this is just something I've been thinking on the last week. With the crazy weather, I may not get out to the barn until this weekend and it will have been a week since I've ridden. I have been obsessively googling the forward/bucking problem and looking for solutions. I'm not sure I've found anything yet and I will be talking to my trainers about this again, but I really feel like it's time to try something new.
It's been a hard week, mentally. I've spent a lot of time worrying, thinking, overthinking and chewing on the problem of Tessa's lack of forward and her attitude about it. I KNOW that it's me, since every other trainer can get on her and after one half hearted attempt at a buck, she goes forward the rest of the time. Their solution is that I need to get after her hard enough so that she gets the message. The dog trainer in me knows this (it's never good to pick at your dog, just correct them hard enough to only have to do it once) and yet it's not working with Tess. I correct harder, she bucks harder.
So here are some of my new theories and thoughts.
1. I am clenching with my legs when I ask her for forward and especially when I get after her. Knowing she's going to put in a big buck makes it challenging for me to relax.
2. I am pulling back on her mouth when I'm asking for forward or I am dropping the contact altogether so I can grab her mane. Again, knowing she's going to throw her head in the air and then follow it up with a giant buck hasn't really given me much confidence in keeping a light, steady contact.
3. At this point, what I am doing is not working. If I'm having to get after her more and more and her bucks are getting bigger and bigger, whatever I'm doing (correcting her, clenching, pulling back) is not effective.
I got the stomach flu today (ugh) and am writing this from bed. It's possible I'm a bit delirious from my fever, but mostly this is just something I've been thinking on the last week. With the crazy weather, I may not get out to the barn until this weekend and it will have been a week since I've ridden. I have been obsessively googling the forward/bucking problem and looking for solutions. I'm not sure I've found anything yet and I will be talking to my trainers about this again, but I really feel like it's time to try something new.
Friday, January 13, 2012
The Balancing Act
Our ride today was up and down. She didn't want to move forward and she could feel my hesitation to enforce it. I was close to giving up and calling it a day, then Laura drove up and asked "How's it going?" I said she was being a pill. She just smiled at me. I knew what that smile meant. That smile meant "Ride that horse like you mean it." That smile meant, "Stop walking and make her go forward." That smile meant "I believe that you can do this and I don't need to help you."
And so I did. By that time I had been half-assing my ride for the last hour so I was almost out of time. But the end of our ride was fairly lovely and I was able to start looking at what I'm doing, instead of riding around cursing under my breath and hating myself and my pony.
Our turning is having some trouble. She pops her outside shoulder and drifts through my outside rein. To be fair, I have noticed that I hang too much on the inside rein, dragging her around corners in desperation. My outside rein is not consistent enough. And when I try to push her shoulder over with my outside leg, she thinks I'm asking her to canter and pops her head up to canter.
I haven't spent my requisite two hours googling this problem, but rest assured I will have some internet ideas for our next ride. I also really need to get a book of exercises and have a better game plan for when I get on. Otherwise, I end up with a horse who's forward and not enough to do with her. We still can't quite make it around the entire arena, so we're limited in our space. But we are getting closer. We actually rode V to P without a spook. Progress, folks. Progress.
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