I don't know about you guys, but my horse life is strangely separate from the rest of my life. It's like I have a bubble around my pony and I where who I am and what I do outside of the barn don't exist. I'm not sure this is particularly good for us and it's certainly not intentional. If everything was perfect, my barn life would be more a part of my regular life. I would love to have friends at the barn that became real friends. There's usually not very many people at the barn when I'm out there and though folks are friendly, talk is kept to horse talk only. And since we don't trail ride, there isn't much talking while riding. People are focused on their horses and their training.
Also, who I am out at the barn is so different than who I am in the rest of my life. For just a brief moment, I am going to stray from ponies. Don't worry, this blog will remain pony-centric. I have another blog where I ramble on about other areas of my life, but this is relevant to my pony journey! I am going to tell you a bit about who I am outside of Panic. Outside of a struggling amateur with a cranky horse.
I am a mom. I have a five year old daughter. I am divorced from her dad but have since re-married the love of my life, who loves sailboats and sailing the way I love ponies. If my daughter ends up loving race cars, I think we will have cornered the market on the three most expensive and time consuming hobbies.
I am a singer. I actually have released an album of my own music. I sang with a popular 80's cover band for a while. I get up on stage in front of thousands of people and get my groove on. And I don't suck. At all. In case you're curious, here's a link to some of my music on facebook. And blonde pictures.
I work in the natural pet industry and have been working with dogs and cats for over 17 years. I am a pet nutritionist, a dog trainer and a kick ass manager. I have managed teams of up to 120 people. I am highly successful (what does it mean when it takes me five times to figure out how spell successful....huh.) in my industry, though success in the pet industry does not equal money in your pocket. Go figure.
I can read a 150 page book in about an hour or less and actually remember it. I can multi-task like nobody's business (I'm drinking coffee, chatting on the phone with a friend of mine, updating my Facebook AND my Twitter and writing this blog right now). I am well spoken, outspoken, decent looking, happily married, confident (yeah, see where this is going...it's gonna come back around in a second to the pony) and generally well liked and respected by my peers. I give really, really good advice. I have a high pain threshold and a low bullshit threshold. I am sensitive but not weird and needy. I like my own side of the bed more than I like snuggling. I have a good sense of humor and a laugh that can be heard across a crowded room.
So, why then, when I go to the barn do I lose all this sense of self? Put me in some breeches and on my cranky little mare and you'd think I couldn't walk ten feet without someone helping me. My child would never speak to me the way my pony does. My shoulders don't slump in my regular life (okay, they kinda do when I'm slouching because I still have angry 13 year old posture),but I take long confident strides when I walk. I don't look down or behind me. Put me with a horse next to me and somehow I turn to jelly, flinching at every movement.
So, there is me outside the barn. And there is me at the barn. And I gotta say, I like the Mona that isn't at the barn. If I can just convince her to show up with me one day when I'm riding, I'm pretty sure things would change. Because Mona Sterling would NOT put up with Pony Attitude. Maybe I need to wear the pink wig to the barn.......