But this has been bothering me lately. Because I'm paying a trainer a decent amount of money every week to help me through this. To tell me what steps to take to make this better. But I'm starting to think that maybe part of my problem is that I want my hand held. Every ride. Every grooming session. Every flicker of my horse's ear. I want to know what the right thing to do if she pins her ears and for every answer I have a "Yeah but what if..." scenario.
Let's take biting for example. Tessa will swing her head and try to bite while you saddle her or if you're grooming her girth or her chest.
Answer #1 - let her head connect with your elbow, finger etc so she punishes herself.
My Response- She's in crossties and can't actually reach me. Also, she will just bite my elbow, finger, fist etc.
Answer #2- Back her up and get her feet moving.
My Response- This works but then I can't put her in the cross ties. And I want a horse that I can put in the cross ties. Also, this doesn't work if I'm in the wash stall. There is no where to back up.
Answer #3- Hard smack on the neck.
My Response- She will throw her head up and away when I do this. And then come back for more
Answer #4- If she comes back for more, you haven't disciplined hard enough.
My Response- But I can't hit her any harder and if I (theoretically) booted her like I was a horse, I wouldn't want her in the cross ties.
Just so you know, this was NOT an actual conversation with my trainer. This is just an example of how no matter what training advice I get (and putting it out on the internet, I've gotten LOTS) I have a "yeah but..." to go with it. Because what it comes down to is that I want someone with me EVERY TIME I interact with my horse to make sure I'm doing it JUST RIGHT. That way I won't embarrass myself or ruin my horse or be one of those people everyone talks about how they're ruining their horse with their stupidity, yet somehow nobody ever SAYS that to those people.
I don't have an answer, this is just something that I'm mulling. I've been reading some pretty great blogs about lightness and training and different ways of doing things. My lesson is tomorrow and my trainer is pretty traditional. Not harsh or close minded or anything, just more of a traditional trainer. And some of the things I want to try aren't traditional, but I have a gut feeling that I need to try them. They may be spectacular failures, but I think I'm realizing that I need to be willing to have a spectacular fail to prove to the pony that this between her and me. And that *I* will hold her hand (hoof?) because I'm in charge. A little bit like finally realizing that you don't need to ask your mom for child rearing advice at some point. It's okay to do what you feel is right for your children without living by consensus.
|Can I be in charge instead?|