Sunday, September 15, 2013

Putting It Out There

The worst part about horse shopping for someone like me is the part where you have to tell complete strangers that you are a nervous rider.  And then you have to be willing to get off and say "I'm scared to stay on this horse."

It's like going on a first date and starting out the conversation with "Hi, I don't like snuggling, I am anal retentive about how the silverware is lined up and I leave my dirty clothes all over the floor.  Also, sometimes I cry for no reason and I get anxious in new situations."  I'm pretty sure that would send most prospective dates running for the door.

The double whammy for me is this feeling that I am somehow a failure as a horse person because I'm not sticking with Tessa.  It's embarrassing that I have a horse that is 'easy to handle' for most people and she feels like too much for me.  It's embarrassing that I've been riding for over 10 years and I'm needing a babysitter horse.

The logical part of me knows this is not exactly the truth of it all, but man, my ego is taking a bruising.

I hope that Tessa sells quickly and without fanfare to a lovely family who will want to do Pony Club or something with her.  I hope that I find a horse who helps me find my confidence and my mojo again.  I know that ultimately, it's the journey that's important and not the destination.

I made a video of Tessa this morning.  She's being ridden by a 12 year old and they look adorable together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFQVsq2BMsw

She should be officially on the market in the next few days.  Hoping the process is straightforward for both of us.

5 comments:

  1. You're not dating the people selling a horse, you're dating the horse - who cares what they think - it only matters what you and the horse think and feel about things. Same with Tessa - it's about how you and she feel and think, and there's no shame at all in acknowledging who you are and who she is and that things aren't where they need to be - and no guilt. We all have our preferences, and yes our baggage - it's part of what makes us who we are.

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  2. I second Kate!
    Also, the more you "put it out there", the more comfortable you'll get about doing it. Keep looking, and keep trying! I know you'll find The One sooner or later!

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  3. There's nothing wrong with needing a certain type of horse. Don't let it get you down!

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  4. I think when I went shopping for Page the big mistake I made was that I wasn't honest with the seller or myself about my abilities. It had been in the neighborhood of 10 years since I'd even been on a horse, forget about a just started 3 year old! When we inquired about Dee we put it all out there. And it was the best thing I could have done! You're doing it right.

    Now this is going to sound super silly since I've been reading your blog for quite a while now...Tessa is a half-arab? What's her other half?

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  5. Tessa looks great with the young girl - I bet a family snatches her up quick! And do not beat yourself up - nothing wrong with finding the right horse for you.

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