The worst part about horse shopping for someone like me is the part where you have to tell complete strangers that you are a nervous rider. And then you have to be willing to get off and say "I'm scared to stay on this horse."
It's like going on a first date and starting out the conversation with "Hi, I don't like snuggling, I am anal retentive about how the silverware is lined up and I leave my dirty clothes all over the floor. Also, sometimes I cry for no reason and I get anxious in new situations." I'm pretty sure that would send most prospective dates running for the door.
The double whammy for me is this feeling that I am somehow a failure as a horse person because I'm not sticking with Tessa. It's embarrassing that I have a horse that is 'easy to handle' for most people and she feels like too much for me. It's embarrassing that I've been riding for over 10 years and I'm needing a babysitter horse.
The logical part of me knows this is not exactly the truth of it all, but man, my ego is taking a bruising.
I hope that Tessa sells quickly and without fanfare to a lovely family who will want to do Pony Club or something with her. I hope that I find a horse who helps me find my confidence and my mojo again. I know that ultimately, it's the journey that's important and not the destination.
I made a video of Tessa this morning. She's being ridden by a 12 year old and they look adorable together.
She should be officially on the market in the next few days. Hoping the process is straightforward for both of us.